My Space of Self-Expression

 
To me, being able to express myself is an absolute essential for living a healthy and happy life. Self-expression comes in many different forms for all sorts of different people. You could be a diary writer, a painter, a blogger, a photographer, or whatever else you feel helps let out your inner self and your private emotions. For me personally, I focus on the visual.
 
Using other people's images to express my own idiosyncratic feelings and identity is, I believe, a lot easier than anything else. You can find exactly what you want to say through one picture and let everyone else have their own opinion. Only you know the true meaning of the image you have chosen to display, unless of course you decide to tell someone else.

Although I love using my own photography, I find that through taking my own pictures, I can never say quite what I want because of the fear of what other people will think of my work or the message that it gives off. My personal expression is often private, in the form of diary writing but today I decided to try something I hadn't done in a really long time!
 
Almost 3 years ago I created a collage on my wall that I had left up until today. Originally, for the first year or so, I was really proud of it. It was something that had taken me almost 3 months to complete because of the layering techniques I had used. However, after that time I started realising how much it showed the worst aspects of myself.
 
My Collage Wall - 2013-2015
 
As you can see above, this is what my wall previously looked like. Although there were some positive things on there like classic images of Kate Moss and Natalie Portman, as well as quotes such as "Don't Worry", the negatives still seemed to outweigh these positives. All I could see when I looked at this was a version of myself that I so desperately wanted to be, but just wasn't.
 
Making this collage back in 2013, I specifically remember thinking to myself "I should include more pictures of boys on here" and I practically forced myself to add in the bare minimum of male representation in my collage that I could. For those of you that don't know already (and for those of you that are still reading and aren't bored yet!) I'm an incredibly gay human being. A literal lesbian. Even though I am completely 100% comfortable with this now, at the time I made this I definitely wasn't and refused to even believe it myself. I supressed it and buried it into the dark depths of the back of mind and this collage was just a reminder of that.
 
There are also some pretty disturbing quotes on here as well. Bearing in mind that the picture above was taken in 2013, the quality is not great so you may not be able to see it, but one quote says "Do Whatever Makes You Happy Super Skinny". Just the fact that 15 year old me physically stuck a 'super skinny' label over the top of the word 'happy' makes me concerned for my younger self. How did my mentality even allow me to think that that was ok? Encouraging myself, as well as anyone that may have come in my room, to strive to be skinny by any means necessary was completely inappropriate and knowing it was there hanging above my head for almost three years is a scary thought.
 
So after thinking about all of these negatives for a long time today, I decided to just rip it all down.  
 
 
 
It felt amazing to tear it all down and throw it all straight in the bin! It was like that whole negative era of my life was officially wiped away for good and I was never going back. I then grabbed my Chanel exhibition poster and a couple of magazines and began to find images for a new collage. One that would represent the real me.
 

 
I know it's a cliché, but I really feel like over the past few months, I've really "found myself" and I know the sort of person I am now. I think, as you're growing up you tend to notice different side of yourself when you're thrown into different situations, different friendships, and different places. You might not like every side of yourself (I know I definitely didn't) but you have to learn to except that that's just you and the way you are. It's irreversible, unchangeable and perfect.
 
I've learned that I'm a very structured person yet extremely emotional, but never in an outward or obvious way. It's like everything means something to be, whether it's an image, something someone has said, a piece of writing...I seem to have a perspective on everything and it often tends to be unusual compared to everyone else's. From the images I chose out of the magazines I had available, I made sure that every single one meant something to me. I wasn't just cutting anything out that looked good and sticking it on my wall like last time.
 
 
I wanted this to represent true aspects of myself. I only wanted to use black and white photography and images that might be considered unusual, along with some pictures with amazing lighting and intriguing shots. The result was this...
 



 
Simple, minimalistic, but exactly what I wanted. The images all mean something to me and I feel like the entire collage is something I can be proud of for a long time. It not only represents my style, but also has images that can imply aspects of my sexuality, my support for the trans and non-binary gender community, the LGBTQIA+ community, POC, and my general views of intersectional feminism. It also includes some of my favourite actresses and fashion/style inspirations.
 
So, if you're still with me, I'm just going to wrap it up here. My point of this post was to encourage you to make some time for yourself and use that time to express a part of you that you may not be so open about. Whether you do this visually like I have, or write it down, or in a drawing...whatever! Just make sure that you give yourself an outlet to get everything out.
 
Sorry if that was a bit rambley, but I felt a sudden spark of inspiration and had a bit of an epiphany that I wanted to share with you all!
 
Georgia x


17 comments

  1. What a lovely personal post!

    I love the new collage!

    Lauren x | www.laurenapowers.blogspot.com

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  2. It's amazing how much can change in a couple of years- I agree, I have made collages that I've looked back at and wondered 'why? what does this actually mean to me?'
    I'm glad that you finally gave yourself a clean slate and created something that represents you for now (who knows how this will change in a couple years!?)

    www.lindseyginge.com

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  3. Great post and I love the collage!!!
    http://www.silkypearl.com/

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  4. Your new collage is so much more chill and relaxing. It looks great!

    COOCOO FOR COCO

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  5. I love how your wall and tearing down all of the old images is symbolic of the changes you are making as well. I feel like I can really relate to what you're going through right now. It's a weird feeling "building" the person you want to become -- so you stretch yourself out in every which way you can, trying new things as you shed your old ways.
    It's funny how we go through so many different stages in life.

    I really like your posts -- they're so thoughtful. I always like bloggers who write thoughtful things -- there seems to be a lot of superficial stuff out there. I'm officially following via Bloglovin'. Can't wait to see more of your posts soon :)

    -Alex
    A Northern Light

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  6. love how the new one turned out, glad you were able to make one that represents who you truly are!

    danielle | avec danielle

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  7. Interesting read! I've never made a collage before but I love looking at them! Glad you are happier with your new one :)

    Danielle's Beauty Blog

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  8. Great, lovely personal post. It was an interesting read for me :)

    Anything & Everything | Bloglovin'

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  9. I've really resonated with this so thank you for sharing. I too feel like I've sort of found myself in the last few months. I'm growing and surprising myself along the way which is great. The contrast between each collage is interesting, it really shows how your interests and likes progress.

    Georgia Jade | The Weekend Attic

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  10. I think most of us look back and wonder how or why did we do what we did in the past. I think it's great that you have discovered yourself and embrace it, and look at you now...you're confident and moving forward on a clean slate. Hugs!

    Reflection of Sanity | CaseApp Giveaway

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  11. I'm glad you realised that and changed the collage into something positive. I do look back to my life and wonder what would I have done differently to make it better.

    xoxo - Style.. A Pastiche

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  12. It's always important to be able to express your real self and I'm glad you finally did it in the end. The end result looks really great.

    TRENDGALORE
    BLOGLOVIN'

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  13. I often look back and wonder why I got caught up in what everyone else was doing, but like you as time has passed I've also gotten a better idea of who I am. I think it's a great idea to set up a new collage and a great means to reflect too :)

    Velvet Blush | Beauty Giveaway

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  14. I'm really glad you find your true self and you're comfortable with who you are. It's amazing how a person can change and evolve in just a a couple years
    x,Abril


    The Color Palette

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  15. Great post! I am such a shy person and I best express myself in writting. While I have this blog, what really helps me is writing in my diaries. I also have a bipolar disorder,so whenever I feel down, putting everything on a piece of paper calms me down.

    http://www.beautynerd.co.uk

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